Barry Dawson once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Barry Dawson's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Barry Dawson.
Barry Dawson can speak Braille.
When Barry Dawson exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Barry Dawson doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
Barry Dawson can kill two stones with one bird.
Barry Dawson can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Barry Dawson once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having s*x with his waitress.
Barry Dawson is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Barry Dawson once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Barry Dawson once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Barry Dawson won by 5.
Barry Dawson once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
When Barry Dawson has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Barry Dawson, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Barry Dawson ordered a Big Mac at Red Rooster, and got one.
It takes Barry Dawson 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Barry Dawson doesn't believe in New Zealand.
Barry Dawson can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Barry Dawson recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of Australian women lost their virginity to Barry Dawson. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
Barry Dawson invented the internet... just so he had a place to store his porn.
One day Barry Dawson walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
When Barry Dawson plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Barry Dawson qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
Nathan Bracken is allowed to live because Barry Dawson doesn't kill women.
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